Never mind the bollocks, here comes the Botox.
Michael Jackson’s legacy was alive and well last night at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s 25th Anniversary Concert on HBO. And not in a good way, save for Stevie Wonder’s performance of Jackson’s “The Way You Make Me Feel.” For way to many rockers looked Jacko-ghoulish, as a result of Botox and scalpels.
I only made it through U2’s set last night and plan to watch more of the show today, but of the folks I saw, precious few looked properly aged, and way more than I would have expected looked downright, well, MJesque. And the performers weren’t the only ones using technology: the performances themselves were so Auto-Tuned as to be interesting only for the “wow, that’s perfect” factor, which, of course, is not a factor in proper rock and roll.
All of this blasphemy was in full display in Jerry Lee’s thoroughly embalmed, show-opening performance of “Whole Lotta Shakin”. His face barely moved as he went through the motionless motions of the song. Happily, his utter lack of time could not be corrected fully and he sounded like utter shit. Which, honestly, was cool, but sensing as I could the complete castration of cacophony, I was properly worried that the rest of the concert would be more doctored than, yes, MJ. It was. Even Bruuuuce looked Botoxed to 10th Avenue.
Thank god for Mick Jagger. He knew what was going on and it wasn’t rock and roll. So he called out U2 for being a “house band” and proceeded to deliver a positively Vegas-like performance that would have been embarrassing had it not been so clear that Jagger was thinking, “What a fucking joke.” And wrinkles? He brought every last hard-earned one and wore them proudly, albeit under what was most likely a wig.
Oh, and one other act was honest, I think. Simon and Garfunkle delivered a stunning Sound of Silence, and Paul Simon himself was the only performer I truly sensed was angry at the sad, unhappy concert unfolding around him, and he resolutely sang his parts LIVE and played his guitar LIVE while all around him, even right next to him in Garfunkle’s WEAK opening to “Bridge Over Troubled Water”, others chose to play dead.
Roll over Beethoven, indeed.