I got religion and it all went to hell.

I don’t remember where I was exactly, but, per usual, I was busy having some sort of inner dialogue (monologue?) with myself, when the phrase “I got religion and it all went to hell” materialized in my brain. Now, some might say God put it there, but I doubt it and if He did, well, good for him, because it would mean God has a sense of humor. Regardless, my first thought was, “Hmmm, that would make a good country song.” Now, several months later, said song is finally done. Many thanks to Catherine for her brutal editing on earlier versions, which, I confess, I can now see sucked.

Recording on this number will follow the usual chain: I’ll send my embarrassingly bad demo to Tim Young in LA, where he will lay down a driving acoustic to groove up my drum machine, then I’ll take the tracks to Studio C, where Jaime Durr will coax maximum thumpiness from Andy Korn, then everything will go back to Tim for more guitar work, then to Sam Bevan for bass, then back to Studio C for vocals, which I plan to have done by the incomparable RodDamnit.

I GOT RELIGION
(AND IT ALL WENT HELL) 

I was a godless man in a god-fearing town
And Frankie's Bar 
Was my sacred ground

I was true to myself but I cheated on my wife
Wore rattlesnake boots
I was living the life

And all the money we saved
I gambled every penny away
And I didn't give a damn
About God or any plan

Then late one night just about dawn
I was driving home
I was pretty far gone

When out of the dark came a blinding light
I could not see
Everything went white

(I) woke up in a hospital bed
All the doctors said I should be dead
And it was that very night 
I asked God to set me right

(Yes and)

I got religion (Ring them bells!)
Yes, I got religion (Hallelujah!)
But if Jesus loves me I can’t tell
‘Cause when I got religion, it all went to hell

I confessed to my wife, (and) she called me a liar
She called me worse
Then she called a lawyer

I confessed to the judge and he said, “Son,
This is one of those days
My job's gonna be fun."

Then my credit cards got stopped
I called the bank they said I got dropped
Then the alimony got set
She got more than she could get 

And I got religion (Ring them bells!)
Yes, I got religion (Hallelujah!)
But if Jesus loves me I can’t tell
‘Cause when I got religion, it all went to hell

(crazed solo on G)

(And) If there’s a lesson here 
Call me dumb but it's not clear
I confessed all my sins
I did my best to make amends

CHORUS 2X