On the brink of superstardom?

Yesterday, Catherine and I flew from San Francisco to Virgina, enjoying a THREE HOUR layover in Washington / Dulles. I don't travel well these days, but though my dizzies were heightened, and I was on edge about getting a headache, I think Fear Of Boredom was worse. In a futile attempt to take the dull out of Dulles, I started checking my Blackberry by the minute. And sometime in between Wendy's and takeoff, an email from Sonicbids popped into my inbox.

For those who don't know what the hell Sonicbids is -- and who would? -- it's an online service for delusional songsters like me that lets you pitch your tunes in vain to all manner of publishing opportunities, live gigs and more. Great service, but very hard on the old ego.

The subject line of my email read: Submission Tracker change for The 6412 Ltd. (Aug-Nov '09)

The 64212 describes itself as a management company, so I knew it would be a longshot. Who wants to manage a songwriter who can't tour or even really play live because of health issues. Oh, and who's got gray hairs to boot. Yeah, nobody.

Still, hope springs eternal, so I bravely clicked the message to read its words. Here's what it said (drum roll):

Hi there.

Jeff Shattuck's submission to The 6412 Ltd. (Aug-Nov '09) has been updated to Not Selected. Log into your account and go to the My Submissions tab to view additional details.


The Sonicbids Team

Despite knowing that this gig was a longshot, as my eyes settled on the words "No Accepted" my first thought was WHY THE F__K NOT?

I began the arduous 3G process of getting online using my Mac, my Blackberry, VMWare Fusion, Windows XP, Verizon Access Manager, a USB cable and  of Saturn's moons, but before I could get the 'net to snare my data, boarding began. I would have to wait until our arrival in Virginia.

Is the suspense killing you? It shouldn't be. Here's what The 6412 Ltd. had to say:

Hi Jeff,
Thanks for your submission. We appreciate hearing from you, but have chosen not to work with you at this time -- keep writing and playing -- you have the basis of some good, solid songs. Once they are more developed, we would be happy to hear from you again! We wish you all the best in your musical endeavours!

The 6412 Ltd.

"The basis of some good, solid songs"???? BASIS? Damn, I thought the songs were more than a mere basis. But what do I know? Fighting off an urgent need to sleep, I checked out The 6412's site and listened to some of the folks they like. And I get it. First, they want something more eclectic than I will ever do. Second, they want a true act, not some hodgepodge of songs, all sung by various singers and ranging from hard rock to piano bar mood music.

And though I KNOW I SHOULD NOT LET THIS GET TO ME, it does, and per usual, the first hint of criticism has thrown me into the abyss of self-doubt where the dogs of doom howl and it rains all the damn time. Luckily, I'm on vacation (from what, I'm not really sure, since I am unemployed and unemployable for most jobs), so I can deal. I think.

Superstardom will have to wait, I guess.